When I came home I already felt something was wrong. It was odd that the brown gate was open. I checked the door and found a different lock hanging. Okay something is definitely wrong, I told myself. That gawd I had the key to the odd lock. When I entered I found my table empty. My laptop was gone. There was a pause. My heart was beating fast and my brain was racing. Panicking is not my style. I sat down then called my mum.
Mum was really funny. At first she started yapping nonstop making me feel stupid. I was quiet the whole time. The scolding suddenly stopped and then we just listened to each other breathe.
“O, nay.” (Yeah, mum.)
That was a very rare moment. She stopped talking. After the silence she told me she loves me and promised to call back. Then I SMSed my friends. My sister Kat told me to cheer up. Dad said I should be strong. Jing was shocked then angry. Bons was sorry. Macor was cursing. Gawd. I love my friends.
To tell the truth, I really don’t know what I feel right now. I lost a very expensive gadget that I hold dear. That little thing contained three years worth of 2000 plus mp3s, 2 gigabytes of photos and don’t even get me started with my porn collection. Gone. Weird huh?
Well… at least I’m ok. It was just a material object. At least I still have my family and friends.
I’m smiling now. Hay Mike. Such an optimist.
Last Note: This was on the record… my dad talking: “We can always replace that basta be strong.” Haha. Fingers crossed.
An old fag used to live next to my shithole of an apartment. He was an odd one and likes to talk non stop. We would blab for hours about almost anything. He was such a character.
But at night I would hear him cry. He often told me how unfair the world was. I would console him and tell him everything is fine (even if it isn’t). He grew up with so much hatred in his heart. I could somehow relate since I also had a hard time growing up accepting my sexuality. But even at his age, he’s still confused. He told me how he would beat himself up just because he thought being gay is wrong. This broke my heart.
He would then tell me details of how he fell in love with a sixteen year old boy (three times his age). I would just laugh. I know it wasn’t funny but he told his story with such conviction that I just couldn’t argue. Of course, I explained pedophilia to him and he just replied “Aba! Hindi natuturuan ang puso.” Oh gawd. Such a cliché. I know! Then I’d laugh again.
I knew him for quite some time. About 3 months, I think. Then I found out that he packed all his things and left one day. My landlady then called the police on him. I was confused. Then I found out that he stole a lot of things from them and my housemates. Funny. I never lost anything. I also found out that he was in so much debt.
Last thing I heard he was on the loose stealing stuff. A friend of his told me he was doing drugs (meth, I think). That’s why his eyes were always red. He was high all the time and I never knew. That would explain all the mood swings and crazy outbreaks. But I don’t pity him. He was right anyway. This is indeed a cruel world. What he did was wrong, I know. But what’s a man to do?
I’m scared though on what he will do. He often talks of suicide and how easy it is to kill. Of course, I didn’t take him seriously and thought he was just joking. With meth, maybe he wasn’t kidding at all.
I still have no news from him.
But I will always remember Kuya Lito. He is what I stand for. Homosexuality is neither a choice nor a lifestyle. It is what it is and it comes naturally. I want all people to know that the gays are not only the stereotypical parloristas. We are humans too with feelings. We hurt and we love.
Maybe I should join a support group. Help those confused little boys accept who they are. He would be proud of me. I know he would.
What is happening here? Fashion goddess, famous editor in chief of American Vogue Anna Wintour was seen in London last Tuesday in Topshop! Yes. You read that right. Is cheap the new trend? Madonna designing for H&M followed by Kate Moss for TS. Now Anna? This is just too cool.
Last Sunday we went to the great Divisoria. The trip was very cathartic. It was both shocking and fulfilling. Shocking because it could’ve passed as Satan’s layer. Well, I’m exaggerating. When you go there, you’ll truly see what a third world country is. Very scary. I saw little kids shitting in the streets. Anyway, all those sad images didn’t stop me from doing what it is I was born to do: shop.
So we went to 168 mall. The mall is crammed with little shops selling almost anything you can think of. But I came there for the clothes and some bling bling. 168 is one big maze. Once you get in, you can’t seem to get out. But it’s definitely fun to be lost.
The whole Divisoria experience was overwhelming and tiring. We went to Gateway after. You know, so we can breathe. And shop. Then we went to Trinoma to meet a friend. But this time, we just window shopped. By 9 pm we realized how pathetic our night would be without a party to go to. So, we decided to go out.
I’m not gonna say exactly where we went because it would be humiliating. Okay, if going to a club on a Saturday is uncool, going on a Sunday is just plain ridiculous. We went anyway. Social casualty aside, we actually had fun. Despite all the whores, trannies and losers running about I totally enjoyed the night. My friends would like to think otherwise. But come on. It was their idea. Not mine.
Then we stayed at my friend’s cousin’s apartment. I slept like a baby. That morning we had an important meeting at a posh hotel in Ortigas. I was, as expected, wasted. We all smelled of cigarettes and had horrible eye bags. Oh gawd.
The hotel was indeed posh. One of those numbered stars. After the meeting we dropped by The Podium. Since the hotel inspired us we felt like it was appropriate to prance our pretty feet at a high end shopping Mecca. Actually, we just needed a place to defecate. Haha!
We then dropped by Megamall to buy cheap brownies. I’ve been craving chocolate lately.
Then we went home. Tired.
I shouldn’t be like this all the time. At first, I loved the feeling of drowning. Now, it’s just tiring. I’m getting dizzy from it all. I thought I can find what I’m looking for here. But the thing is I don’t know what it is at all.
Get a grip Mike.
Oh my gawd. I think I’m growing up. And it’s scary.
I’ve been a bad boy. Almost every day I’m out drinking. Even on school nights. Whatever. I should stop. Anyway, last night I was at BED (where the boys are). Moi had so much fun. I did crazy things. What happened there stays there.
So many boys so little time.
Been neglecting the gym lately. I guess I don’t hate my body that much. There was this big theory that in order for one to be beautiful he/she must first hate himself. Demented as it may be but it is kind of true. So I am on a mission to hate my body. Well, maybe just my midsection. I tried finding inspiration but it did not work. So maybe hate will do the trick.
I’m kidding. I really fucking need a six pack. It is not just about looking good but about my life. The whole beer belly thing had been my frustration since god created chocolate chip cookies.
By the time I go naked at the beach this coming break I must at least look like Justin Timberlake if not Matthew Mcconaughey. Right. Keep on dreaming Mike. Life is just unfair. Law of nature.
Okay… I’ll admit. I’m a HSM sucker. The first movie was a work of genius. Watching Zac Efron croon and Ashley Tisdale trot the hallways of East High became my guilty pleasure. I watched it, for like, five times.
And now came the sequel. The Asian premiere will be this coming Sunday (Sept. 7) on Disney Channel Asia. But since I just couldn’t wait, I asked a friend to download it for me. Oh yeah, the mighty powers of the Intahnet at work here.
What do I think of the movie? Fucking genius! Just pure fucking genius. It was cool that they followed the same formula and the music was poppier. Ashley Tisdale was so amazing here. The boys (Zac,Corbin,Lucas and the rest) spent quite some time on the gym. They all look buff which is totally fab. Total eye candy. All the musical sequence were bigger, better and gayer.
So watch it!
The music was brilliant too. Zac’s ‘Bet On It’ was the show stopper. It brings us back to the glory of boybands. Lucas Gibreel and Corbin Blue’s ‘I Don’t Dance’ was fresh and super fab. My favorite of the bunch was Ashley’s ‘Fabulous’. No questions asked. Haha. Don’t worry there are still some ‘We’re All In This Together’ type of songs here.